Becoming a man has been a very new thing to me since. Why? I know, I became a neutral gender and non-identity who I am, neither a man nor a woman. I changed my pronoun (they. their, them, and kakak in Indonesian) but now, I changed back to "him, his, and he". I don't know why it happened to me. It early suddenly thing to me and came around me. My friends are encouraging me to have male friends and I am still struggling at the moment.
My dad is the best and most loving. He cares about what I am doing, but despite he is stubbornness and sometimes never respecting my decision, I still love him as a dad and a man. I reminded when I and my dad was going to his workplace and I did the most hated in the world, such as helping to move sand, coal, and tiles, as is done by building construction. I was working angrily because it was the most hated in the world and my life and I love playing sports instead. We moved from project to project every day and carry 10-20 lbs (10-20 kg) of coal and sand, then we went to the garden to water, guard, and pick ripe fruits then returned home to have lunch with my mom has prepared. Despite miscommunication (I'm Deaf and my parents are hearing), I can see how my dad working is and prays every day before going to work. I was 8 years old, my dad and I was going to Klaten by truck, where he worked and assisted his trucks. I loved visiting his truck driver's home which had two dogs and they were cute. On nights, my dad went and waited by the street to call and assist his truck drivers. My dad really loved working like that despite it being exhausting, I think. He taught me how to be a responsible man, love the job, dedicate to God, and always respect women. I have a sister so my dad really loves playing with my sister meanwhile my sister doesn't like the way my dad plays and also my dad really supported my mom who used not to drive a car and now my mom can drive by a car! Sometimes, I miss my grandpa who died in 2012, and still miss him. He was Deaf like me but he became Deaf because of old age. Every weekend, he came to my home from Sragen which measures 21 miles (35 km) to meet and play with me. However, my dad is really a man which I love growing up with despite not being raised earlier due to I moved to Wonosobo and was raised in a dormitory.
But, sadness because my dad has cancer so I need to pray to him every day and every time never stopping. I want my dad to recover soon so we can spend with him again and go on road-trip by 100 miles again (160 km) more because he loves road-trip by car. In-out-family community, I didn't grow up in the health community to grow my personality and got stuck in a hard community like growing up used to hate and no one taught me what love is and respect is. It was really frustrating and struggled by identifying who am I.
In Christianity, Bible has written by explaining how Jesus Christ and His disciples taught all men over the world and there are some verses of command to respect women, which is called "wife". And, I found some verses in Bible about becoming a Christian man, 1 Timothy 3: 2 and 1 Timothy 6: 11.
"Now the overseas is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach." 1 Timothy 3: 2
"But you, a man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness." 1 Timothy 6: 11
I am pointing out the 6 types of a man of God in 1 Timothy 6: 11 and which are a requirement for becoming a Christian man to live and be faithful to God. Jesus Christ is a man who I see and feel. He has shown his teachings to inspire all males in the world, on how to be good men and respectable. Power, money, and another temptation that comes from the world, they need to against them.
That has been motivating me to become a man and a Christian who serves and lives in Him. I am struggling to have male friends and wish to get a nice man but it definitely takes awhile. When I was praying alone and talking to Him in the garden that usually comes every Saturday morning, I was like I'm just hearing that He wants me to be a good man who has male friends and learn to respect women. So, this is what am I doing at the moment.
I hope I will have male friends and spend with them, which I called "boys time". "Boys time" sounds interesting and extremely important to me by hoping not just to play games but hanging out. I need to grow up as a man and as a Christian, like what my dad did. I want more "boys time".
Thanks for reading my blog! May God bless you!
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