"Jesus" in American Sign Language (ASL) means His hands.
When you are a man who always has feelings for a girl who you've liked, then saying your feeling but got rejected and struggling move on. That always happens to me! I had made close to some girls who I ever met and all rejected. At that point, I think I should stop and set up back to only Christ-centered relationships. I really want closer to Him because He is only my partner for the rest life. I never regret it because I'm a Christian and learn how to be a Christian. Being Christian, you should build a relationship with Him first. That's what I want to be. So, I come to the church and serve, only I put my faith in Him and share His words with people who are needed.
As usual, I always pray and thank Him for the day before going to bed and I wanted to sleep well until 05.30 am but I woke up at 3.30 am because I felt hurting and heartbroken about what happened. I tried to contact my Deaf best friend who lives in South Carolina, United States because I needed to talk to her through video call but she didn't respond and maybe she is working. Then, I prayed and talked to Him. He knew about my feelings. He sent Linky, a dormitory cat to entertain and sleep with me, despite I don't sleep with him. Thank you, Jesus Christ! I talked to him about what happened. He heard me, despite he would never be able to speak with me. I could see him as He listened to my feelings.
Since getting baptized in December 2019, I felt unconnected and was lazily going to the church, and even I worked for the church as an interpreter. I separated my faith as a Christian and my professionalism as an interpreter. So, it kinda missing and unconnected to Him. I regretted it since I felt not at peace at all without devouring with Him. I cried when I was at the church and was like which I wanted to make closer to Him. And, He knew and through the Holy Spirit, I got many offers to join and serve from my friend and I decided to receive them because I knew this is what He wants me to serve back. I am super glad to serve and help what they are going to.
I know I'm just a human being and feeling can't hang in but I believe He is helping and guiding me in the whole process to be better feelings and always love people I met. I love everyone and I want to build healthy friendships as I love them as He loved each other. Matthew 5: 44 teaches me to forgive and pray my enemies and John 15: 2 also commands me to love each other as He has loved me. I want to love everyone I met and even the people who hated me. That's what I wanted because I want to be a good Christian and do in what He ordered and His words, that share the gospel, serve people who are needed, and love each other.
I am trying to be a good Christian and learning how to be a Christian. That's what I am struggling for. I hope He is guiding me to be a good Christian and love everyone I met. I really want to be like that because I love Jesus Christ and admit Jesus Christ as my king, my Lord, and my savior. I'm a son of a God and a follower of Jesus Christ. It's who truly I am and is reborn to be a Christian.
I love you, Jesus Christ! I love you, Jesus Christ! Enough to have Him right now. Jesus Christ is my partner for the rest life.
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